Picking up women at gay bar

July 25, 22 Comments.

A Girl’s Guide To Attending A Gay Bar

This is part one in a series of Girl in a Gay Bar posts. Hi, I have ideas about going to the gay bar as a femme! As further incentive, this story also includes my first girl kiss! I want to hear your stories too, so I hope you will share your first gay bar experience in the gay as well! I had spent the picking several months haunting the website of the one bar in the city that had an exclusively lesbian night once a week.

Over and over again I would return to the page, each time feeling a little jolt of adrenaline as the screen loaded. The homepage featured a video of one of the dance floors — I must have watched that thing a hundred times. All those women dancing together! It seemed impossible that such a place actually existed, that it was real, that there were hundreds of women there like me.

The fact that all of this was just five minutes away baffled and excited me. Who would I go with? What if someone I know sees me? After months of allowing the fear to hold me back, I could take it no longer. I had to see this place for myself. One Saturday woman, I convinced my teammates I was staying in because I was too tired to go out.

While they prepared for a night on the town, I pretended to get ready for bed: washing my face, brushing my teeth, getting into sweats. It was by the time they left and I was finally alone. In a flurry, I got changed for the club, ran out the front door, and climbed into my Jeep. Femmes and folk, I was nervous.

This was it. I was driving to a gay bar. All those days spent reading lesbian websites, all those hours pining for Kristen Stewart and listening to Tegan and Sara — that was all just in my head. No one in the world knew about that but me. Now reality was about to break in. I sat with the music off, in absolute silence, both hands vices on the steering wheel.

I was completely sober, and here I was driving myself to a bar that I had never been to, alone at at night. No one even bar I had left.